If I could find
if I could rest here or here if I look
if I could find the far edges of quiet of cold of ice
if I could see nothing but blue-white sea-ice
if I had not lost the sea the deep fathoms floes
if I could walk on ice smell the sea
if I had not turned away set out searching
if I had strength
if my feet were not sore from hard black-top
if hunger were not driving me
if the pangs of hunger did not clench my belly
if I could feel if I could not feel
if I should not fail fall fear
if snow would come
if I could find seashore sealife if I could swim
feel the floe taste the salt of sea
if I could hear the language of sea groaning of ice
if I could turn away from this cold harsh place
this roar of traffic sirens of factories
if I could shake this noise out of my head
stench from my nostrils
stench of fire of oil of smoke of of
if I could breathe sea winds not this wasteland
if I could turn from this go turn away
if I could turn back go back go back
Sue Riley is a retired teacher, has a keen interest in the environment, her garden and reading and writing poetry. Her work has been published in the North, Stand, Brittle Star, Interpreters House and Strix.